From Suffering and Reincarnation to True Freedom: A Journey of Faith

Have you ever felt trapped in life’s endless suffering and searched for a way out—a true path to peace and meaning?

This is the real-life testimony of a devoted Buddhist practitioner who spent years seeking “nirvana”—a state of being beyond birth and death—only to find himself still bound by sin, guilt, and inner turmoil. It was only when he encountered Jesus Christ that he finally discovered freedom, forgiveness, and the true purpose of life.

If you, like him, have struggled in your spiritual journey, searching for peace and deeper meaning, perhaps this story is just what you need to read.

✍️ My Spiritual Journey

By Chen Daomin | Originally published in Tao Fong Journal, Vol. 5, No. 1

There are two major religions in the world—Christianity and Buddhism. Both aim to help people escape the pain of sin and find true joy. Buddhism teaches that suffering comes from desire and sin (called klesha), and that to be free, one must follow the path of discipline, meditation, and wisdom to reach nirvana—a state beyond birth and death. It’s a religion focused on escaping, on dissolving the self. Christianity, on the other hand, points to the cross as the symbol of victory, teaching that salvation comes through suffering and leads to renewal and growth.

When I first studied Buddhism, my goal was simple: to escape the cycle of birth and death. I wanted to reach a place where I no longer had to suffer, where I could be free from this endless loop of rebirth, aging, sickness, and death. I believed the only way to do this was to follow the path—to train my body to obey strict rules, and to train my mind to stop all thoughts and desires.

But after years of practice, I never reached that perfect state. Instead of peace, I felt trapped. I kept failing. I couldn’t stop sinning, couldn’t stop my thoughts. My body and mind felt like the enemies dragging me to hell. I wanted to be good, but they pulled me back every time. I thought, “If I can’t stop sinning while alive, maybe it’s better to just die.” But even death wouldn’t solve anything—I would just be born again and sin again. There seemed to be no way out.

In that hopeless state, I remembered something someone once said: “All things are created by the mind. Isn’t nirvana just a mental illusion?” Buddhism teaches that there is nothing to gain, but when you’re in pain, that teaching doesn’t ease your suffering. Pain still hurts. I felt stuck—couldn’t move forward, couldn’t go back. I thought, “If life is all suffering and effort leads nowhere, maybe I should just live freely and indulge myself.” So I started gambling, drinking, and chasing after pleasure. Life felt like a dream, an illusion—why take it seriously?

But God didn’t let me stay lost forever. Even when I was drowning in sin, my conscience never stopped troubling me. One night I broke down and cried. I thought about going to the mountains to live as a hermit again, but a voice inside told me, “It would be useless.” I had no way out. I wandered around the garden in the middle of the night, knelt before the Buddha statue and begged for guidance. I looked at the stars and cried out from deep inside: “Heaven! Help me!”

A few days later, I found a leaflet in my guest room. It had a lotus cross on it and some Bible verses. On the back it said, “If you have questions, contact the chaplain at Kwong Chi Hospital.” The lotus cross caught my attention. It reminded me of Rev. Karl Ludvig Reichelt, a missionary I met years ago. The symbol was his personal mark. I wrote to the hospital, and soon I received his address. With the help of Mr. Sutarly and Mr. Tung, I made my way to Hong Kong and reunited with him. Thank God—for everyone who asks will receive, everyone who seeks will find, and everyone who knocks will have the door opened.

At Tao Fong Shan, my first question was: “What can Jesus offer me?” I started reading the Gospel of Matthew, The Book of the Sinner, and the life story of Toyohiko Kagawa. These readings helped me understand who Jesus really was, what God’s love meant, and how the cross brings new life. The Book of the Sinner opened my eyes to my own sin and showed me the way to be free.

One morning, while reading under a pine tree, I came across Jesus’ words: “If you don’t carry your own cross and follow me, you cannot be my disciple.” I was shaken, inspired, and deeply moved. That evening, in the chapel, I made my decision: “Lord, I want to follow You. I want to carry my cross. Please strengthen me to follow You to the end.”

The next morning, as I sat in silence under the trees, I heard in my heart: “You must be clean.” I felt it was the Lord’s voice. I couldn’t ignore it. I wrestled with myself for over a week, and finally, inside the Lotus Cave, I confessed my sins.

After that confession, I felt incredibly light and free—like a prisoner released from a dark cell. Everything around me seemed beautiful. I understood the Bible in a new way, and the tightness in my heart disappeared. I truly experienced what Jesus meant: “The captives will be set free; those in bondage will be released.” Praise the Lord—He has set me free!

I used to think life was just an illusion. Now I know it has meaning and purpose. I used to think the universe was just something created by the mind. Now I know it’s real. I used to think Jesus was just a great teacher. Now I know He is the Son of God—my Savior.

I’m no longer filled with despair. My life is full of joy, hope, and new strength. I’m no longer lost in emptiness—Jesus is with me. When I am weak, He holds me up. When I fall, He lifts me. When I lose my way, He guides me.

I won’t say I never sin anymore. I am weak—perhaps the weakest among the weak. But in my weakness, I see Jesus on the cross, His eyes full of love and pain, looking at me. That vision wakes me up and brings me back. His love surrounds me. I can’t bear to hurt Him again. He gave His life for my sin. He broke my chains and gave me true freedom.

💬 Reflection: From the Illusion of Nirvana to the Light of the Cross

This testimony reflects a question many people today wrestle with: Why is life so full of pain? Is there any true hope or eternal purpose?

The writer was once a devoted Buddhist, seeking peace through discipline and meditation, trying to escape the cycle of suffering and sin. But nothing brought him real peace—until he met Jesus. It was there, at the foot of the cross, that he finally discovered redemption—not through effort, but through grace.

This story reminds us: The true meaning of life isn’t found in escaping pain, but in encountering the God who walks with us through it—and saves us in love.