Have you ever felt trapped in life\u2019s endless suffering and searched for a way out\u2014a true path to peace and meaning?<\/p>\n
This is the real-life testimony of a devoted Buddhist practitioner who spent years seeking \u201cnirvana\u201d\u2014a state of being beyond birth and death\u2014only to find himself still bound by sin, guilt, and inner turmoil. It was only when he encountered Jesus Christ that he finally discovered freedom, forgiveness, and the true purpose of life.<\/p>\n
If you, like him, have struggled in your spiritual journey, searching for peace and deeper meaning, perhaps this story is just what you need to read.<\/p>\n
By Chen Daomin | Originally published in Tao Fong Journal, Vol. 5, No. 1<\/em><\/p>\n There are two major religions in the world\u2014Christianity and Buddhism. Both aim to help people escape the pain of sin and find true joy. Buddhism teaches that suffering comes from desire and sin (called klesha<\/em>), and that to be free, one must follow the path of discipline, meditation, and wisdom to reach nirvana<\/em>\u2014a state beyond birth and death. It\u2019s a religion focused on escaping, on dissolving the self. Christianity, on the other hand, points to the cross as the symbol of victory, teaching that salvation comes through suffering and leads to renewal and growth.<\/p>\n When I first studied Buddhism, my goal was simple: to escape the cycle of birth and death. I wanted to reach a place where I no longer had to suffer, where I could be free from this endless loop of rebirth, aging, sickness, and death. I believed the only way to do this was to follow the path\u2014to train my body to obey strict rules, and to train my mind to stop all thoughts and desires.<\/p>\n But after years of practice, I never reached that perfect state. Instead of peace, I felt trapped. I kept failing. I couldn\u2019t stop sinning, couldn\u2019t stop my thoughts. My body and mind felt like the enemies dragging me to hell. I wanted to be good, but they pulled me back every time. I thought, \u201cIf I can\u2019t stop sinning while alive, maybe it\u2019s better to just die.\u201d But even death wouldn\u2019t solve anything\u2014I would just be born again and sin again. There seemed to be no way out.<\/p>\n In that hopeless state, I remembered something someone once said: \u201cAll things are created by the mind. Isn\u2019t nirvana just a mental illusion?\u201d Buddhism teaches that there is nothing to gain, but when you’re in pain, that teaching doesn’t ease your suffering. Pain still hurts. I felt stuck\u2014couldn\u2019t move forward, couldn\u2019t go back. I thought, \u201cIf life is all suffering and effort leads nowhere, maybe I should just live freely and indulge myself.\u201d So I started gambling, drinking, and chasing after pleasure. Life felt like a dream, an illusion\u2014why take it seriously?<\/p>\n But God didn\u2019t let me stay lost forever. Even when I was drowning in sin, my conscience never stopped troubling me. One night I broke down and cried. I thought about going to the mountains to live as a hermit again, but a voice inside told me, \u201cIt would be useless.\u201d I had no way out. I wandered around the garden in the middle of the night, knelt before the Buddha statue and begged for guidance. I looked at the stars and cried out from deep inside: \u201cHeaven! Help me!\u201d<\/p>\n A few days later, I found a leaflet in my guest room. It had a lotus cross on it and some Bible verses. On the back it said, \u201cIf you have questions, contact the chaplain at Kwong Chi Hospital.\u201d The lotus cross caught my attention. It reminded me of Rev. Karl Ludvig Reichelt<\/a>, a missionary I met years ago. The symbol was his personal mark. I wrote to the hospital, and soon I received his address. With the help of Mr. Sutarly and Mr. Tung, I made my way to Hong Kong and reunited with him. Thank God\u2014for everyone who asks will receive, everyone who seeks will find, and everyone who knocks will have the door opened.<\/p>\n At Tao Fong Shan, my first question was: \u201cWhat can Jesus offer me?\u201d I started reading the Gospel of Matthew, The Book of the Sinner<\/em>, and the life story of Toyohiko Kagawa. These readings helped me understand who Jesus really was, what God\u2019s love meant, and how the cross brings new life. The Book of the Sinner<\/em> opened my eyes to my own sin and showed me the way to be free.<\/p>\n One morning, while reading under a pine tree, I came across Jesus\u2019 words: \u201cIf you don\u2019t carry your own cross and follow me, you cannot be my disciple.\u201d I was shaken, inspired, and deeply moved. That evening, in the chapel<\/a>, I made my decision: \u201cLord, I want to follow You. I want to carry my cross. Please strengthen me to follow You to the end.\u201d<\/p>\n The next morning, as I sat in silence under the trees, I heard in my heart: \u201cYou must be clean.\u201d I felt it was the Lord\u2019s voice. I couldn\u2019t ignore it. I wrestled with myself for over a week, and finally, inside the Lotus Cave<\/a>, I confessed my sins.<\/p>\n After that confession, I felt incredibly light and free\u2014like a prisoner released from a dark cell. Everything around me seemed beautiful. I understood the Bible in a new way, and the tightness in my heart disappeared. I truly experienced what Jesus meant: \u201cThe captives will be set free; those in bondage will be released.\u201d Praise the Lord\u2014He has set me free!<\/p>\n I used to think life was just an illusion. Now I know it has meaning and purpose. I used to think the universe was just something created by the mind. Now I know it’s real. I used to think Jesus was just a great teacher. Now I know He is the Son of God\u2014my Savior.<\/p>\n I\u2019m no longer filled with despair. My life is full of joy, hope, and new strength. I\u2019m no longer lost in emptiness\u2014Jesus is with me. When I am weak, He holds me up. When I fall, He lifts me. When I lose my way, He guides me.<\/p>\n I won\u2019t say I never sin anymore. I am weak\u2014perhaps the weakest among the weak. But in my weakness, I see Jesus on the cross, His eyes full of love and pain, looking at me. That vision wakes me up and brings me back. His love surrounds me. I can\u2019t bear to hurt Him again. He gave His life for my sin. He broke my chains and gave me true freedom.<\/p>\n This testimony reflects a question many people today wrestle with: Why is life so full of pain? Is there any true hope or eternal purpose?<\/p>\n The writer was once a devoted Buddhist, seeking peace through discipline and meditation, trying to escape the cycle of suffering and sin. But nothing brought him real peace\u2014until he met Jesus. It was there, at the foot of the cross, that he finally discovered redemption\u2014not through effort, but through grace.<\/p>\n This story reminds us: The true meaning of life isn\u2019t found in escaping pain, but in encountering the God who walks with us through it\u2014and saves us in love.<\/p>\n Related Video:
\n\ud83d\udcac Reflection: From the Illusion of Nirvana to the Light of the Cross<\/h2>\n
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